TGI(almost)F Joke

THE INDIAN WITH ONE TESTICLE

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was Onestone. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that anymore. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her, and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name
until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, all night, all the next day, all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story?????
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OH, Come on...take a guess!
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Think about it...
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(You're going to love this!)
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And the moral is...
(drum roll, please)
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You can't kill two birds with one stone!!!

9 months old

I don't feel like blogging about something that takes too much thought. So, here's my baby. (click to see him when he was about 10 weeks old)

Whodathunkit?!?!

Who woulda thought that I would...

~Stay in on a Friday night...
~...and order a Pay-Per-View movie (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning)...
~...and be in bed before midnight.
~Spray paint a tv table and 2 frames black...
~...and rake pine needles to "freshen up" my front flower bed...
~...while Bailey tried to play "shake" on a Saturday afternoon.
~Eat dinner with the family...
~...and watch High School Musical with the kids on a Saturday night.
~Take down border in 2 bedrooms...
~...put a layer of clear coat on said tv table...
~...set up said tv table and tv in my bedroom...
~...and hang pictures on a Sunday afternoon.

Yup, folks...I'm either getting old
or
growing up
or worse...
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.BOTH.

Oh, Gawd!

A Delivery

As I drove into my driveway last night, I noticed that there was something at my front door. It was already dark, so the only thing I could see was the reflection of something. Much to my surprise, my little niece and nephew had sent me a beautiful potted plant and 2 big balloons! The card read:

"Happy Birthday, Uncle! We love you! Love K & T"

This is THE sweetest thing that I've received in a long long LONG time. They had already called me on my way into work to wish me a happy birthday, so this was a huge surprise. I immediately called them.

"Hey Uncle!"
"Hey baby! Guess what I got?"
"You got it!? Yah!"
"Yes, thank you, baby! It's beautiful! Thank you so much!"
"Good! Happy Birthday, Uncle! I love you!"
"I love you, too, baby!"

The convo went about the same with both of them. Even though I know that my mom paid for it and all, they were the ones that wanted to do something for me. My mom told me that they picked it out and everything. They didn't want to get me flowers because it was too "girlie," so they decided on the plant.

1. I've NEVER received a delivery from a flower shop before. EVER.
2. I love them so much, so it means that much more. And they never let me forget how much they love *me*. Since I may never have kids, they *are* my kids. I just can't put it into words...
3. None of my "friends" remembered my birthday, so I was bummed. No one called, e-mailed, texted, anything. My co-workers and family were the only ones that remembered. So, this really made my day.
4. It's not the gift, it's the thought. The phone call from them first thing this morning was enough for me. They amaze me.

Thank you, K & T! Uncle loves you more than you'll ever know!

Twenty-Seven...continued

I have some of the best co-workers! 7 of them took me out to lunch...and paid for me:)

Also, 1 of my co-workers likes to bake. He remembered that I like chocolate on chocolate cake, so he made me one!

Are they trying to fatten me up? Hrmmm...

Twenty-seven

Happy Birthday, to me!

Twenty-seven
27
XXVII
Ventisiete
30-3
21+6

Another year has passed.
Another year wiser? I hope so.
I can't help but feeling like I should be further along in life.

Blech.

What will I do today? Eh...nothing special. It's just another day.