The Ex Factor

The first boyfriend I ever had was in college. I was 21 and he was 19. We met through a mutual friend and went out for about 4 months. He was my first, so that meant a lot and seemed like a long time. I went on vacation with the family and he went to band camp (insert American Pie joke here). Upon my return, he apparently had had too much fun at band camp and was already "seeing" another guy. I was crushed. He was the first person that I said "I love you" to. I came out to my best friend while we were going out. He had met my family as "a friend" and me his.

Fast forward 7 years.
After not having seen or spoken to him since college, I saw him several times as I ran around town. Odd that I would see him after all this time...in a different city...but ok. Chalk it up to coincidence and "the odds." Opening day at the gym...he and another guy (I assumed his bf) came in to get a joint 6 month membership. I acted like he was just an old friend - it had been 7 years, after all. Totally ok with it all now. As the months went on, we exchanged friendly banter, but nothing too in depth. He eventually wained off of his workout regimen after about 3 months, so that was that.

Last night.
Some friends and I go out...and guess who we see at the bar? Yup, he and his joint membership guy are there. I stop to chat and we exchange friendly "hellos." Come to find out, he isn't dating his joint membership guy, they are just roommates. As the drinks continue to flow, I invite him to walk around with my group and hang out. He accepts. At one point, it is just the 2 of us...outside. We make some chit-chat...and for some reason, the break-up and the past become the topic of discussion. He continues to tell me that he has always regretted the way he treated me. That he didn't handle the situation like he should have. That, after having dated since then, he realized how "good he had it" (his words). That the grass wasn't greener on the other side, like he thought. That if he could, he would do it all differently. That he "got what he deserved" in his subsequent relationships.

WHOA!

I was totally not expecting ANY of this. I had never even thought about getting any sort of validation from him. Ever. It all took me by surprise...and that is putting it mildly. I told him not to worry about it. That I really appreciate the validation, but that we were both just so young. We didn't know what we were doing.

More drinks. More time passes. He skips his ride with his roommate to hang out with me (us) longer. After closing the bar down, we share a taxi...and go to his place. We both had to work this morning, so all we did was make out a little and then pass out. As he drives me to my house this morning, he gets my number. We kiss goodbye. It's in his court. He has my number. I don't have his.

WHOA!

Do I revisit?
Do we start anew?
Do we "not go there again."

Who knows. Time will tell. I'm not going to over-analyze it...like I usually do.

Que sera, sera.

But it does feel f-ing awesome to get validation from an ex. Especially when you never expected it. From him.