After a long week of work, I decided to go out with some friends last night. A friend of a friend was in town, so it was really just another excuse to go out. As the night progressed, we decided to go dancing. Then to grab a bite to eat before calling it a night...or morning, that is...at 3am. While we were eating, the friend of my friend told me that I was too picky. He had spotted a guy that he thought was cute, but I didn't.
AM I too picky?
Despite people telling me that I'm cute or hot, dancing with my shirt off and guys (mostly unwanted) trying to dance with me, people flirting, etc...what is it that I'm really looking for? (please excuse the cliche image of a gay boy in the aforementioned sentence...) I'm not trying to toot my own horn (trust me!), but why am I so picky??? Would I date me? I dunno. That's a whole 'nother can of worms that I don't want to open right now. I think that part of me would never date someone that I met at a bar/club, so why, then, do I continue to go out? That's not to say that I haven't dated a guy that I've met at a bar/club...but we see how well that's worked for me, right? And for that matter, why would anyone date me that I met out...if they were to think as I do??? So, why then, do we, as gay men...as humans...go out? Are we really missing something if we don't? Are we so afraid that we'll miss something that we just go out anyway? What is the lure? What is the shiny (disco) ball that draws us? Are we really looking for the "what if" of life? What if I don't go out and miss my Mr. Right? What if he were to be at the same bar that I always go to...just for tonight? What if I miss my opportunity? What if said opportunity never comes up again? What if???
Are we, as gay men, so blinded by the "what if's" that we can't see clearly? So? What if he was there and we weren't? If it was meant to be, it will be. Tonight. Tomorrow night. Next week. Whenever the stars align, it will happen. Are we *that* deluded by the "what if's" that we'll put ourselves through this mental turmoil???
Does any of this make sense?
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2 comments:
I met Justin at a bar a little over six years ago. He is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Well, Brad...you are one of the exceptions. As seems to be the case in most of my rants...you being the exception. LOL. That's great, tho...it *can* work...
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