Evolution

Evolution: Good or Bad? When it comes to beauty, I'm not sure if we have. Like women, gay men feel "pressure" to look their best. As cliche-ish as it sounds, if you don't look like an Abercrombie model, then some guys won't even look at you. At some point, you have to start ignoring this negative, unrealistic cliche and live in the real world. People come in many different, beautiful forms, shapes, faces, etc...when will we learn this? From a very early age, we are told that we are all unique...and that it's beautiful and ok and good. Why can't THIS lesson be what sticks with us instead of the unattainable, unrealistic cliche that most of us strive for? Only then will we be able to evolve...

Getting Your Hairs Cut

If you think about it, getting your haircut can be a very sensual act (notice I said can be--not always). As I was getting my hair cut last night in preparation for a date (more on this later), I got to thinking about this.

The person (of course it was a girl...dang it!) has their fingers through your hair.
Her boobies (did I really just say boobies??? I'm back in 6th grade...) are right there in front of your face (literally).
She is "performing" for your approval.
Communication is a must if you want the end outcome to be good.
...and...
...wait for it...
...wait for it...
She gets paid for her services! LOLOLOL

Another thing about getting a haircut is the reaction from others:

"Did you get your hair cut?" (Gotta love this one...why did you ask when you already knew the answer???)
"Oh, you got your hair cut..." (I hate this one. They don't say whether they like it or not, they just leave it at that.)
"I like your haircut." (I like this one, of course. It shows that they acknowledge that you got a haircut and that they like it.)

And yes, I've gotten all of the said responses today.

To Settle or Not To Settle

I've always stood firm on my position to the above topic. I'm on the "not to settle" team. I don't want to settle for someone, and I sure as heck don't want anyone to settle for me. But when does not wanting to settle cross over into the too picky category? Sure...we all settle to some degree, but when is too much too much?

I went out with a guy this past weekend that we'll call B. I met him a week earlier through a friend. In said meeting, a red flag went up, but I decided to overlook it. For the next week, we texted and talked on the phone daily. I had a pretty busy weekend planned but he wanted to get together at some point, so I invited him along to the 2 parties that I was going to on Saturday. While we had a good time, I just didn't feel it--even with the amount of alcohol that I consumed! One of my friends commented on how cute he was, so that made me think... Am I being too picky?

Said red flag...not a big deal.
He's 32, I'm 26...not a big deal.
He lives an hour away...mmmk...
He has 2 snakes...that just freaks me out.
He wants to get a tattoo on his entire upper thigh...X!
PLUS...I wasn't feeling it...

So, at this point, I don't think that I'm too picky...I just don't want to settle. I will overlook some things, but not too many things.

A first

I've never posted pictures on my blog, so this is a first. Here's my baby, Bailey, when he was about 12 weeks old. He's about 4 months and a weeks old now. He's the cutest Golden Retriever ever! More pics to come:)

Getting To Know You

...well...me, actually.

Top 5 Song
My Love - Justin Timberlake
Chasing Cars - SnowPatrol
Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
Lips of an Angel - Hinder
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake

Top 5 Guys
Steve Sandvoss
Justin Hartley
Tom Welling
Channing Tatum
David Beckham

Top 5 TV Shows
Brothers and Sisters
Six Degrees
Heros
Grey's Anatomy
Desperate Housewives

Top 5 things I can't live without
ChapStick
iPod
Running Shoes
My Family
Good Friends

Random stuff
Diet or Regular? Diet
Coke or Pepsi? Diet Pepsi
Wine or Beer? Depends...I like both...but I'll pick wine
Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
Dogs or Cats? Dogs
Urban or Rural? Urban
Boxers or Briefs? Briefs
New York or LA? New York
Coffee or Tea? Coffee
Favorite Drink: SugarFree RedBull and Vodka
Favorite Band: Sister Hazel
Favorite Reality Show: The Amazing Race
Favorite Pizza Toppings: Ham and Pineapple or Mushroom
First thing you notice about someone: smile...then eyes
Favorite Color: Blue
Favorite dessert: Cheesecake
Do you believe in Monogomy? Yes, absolutely!
Do you believe in love at first sight? No...I think it's lust or intrigue at first sight.
Do you want kids? Yes
Money not a factor, if you could travel anywhere, where would it be? Australia
Pet Peeve: Calling me "Steve"...I'm not a Steve, I'm a Stephen...don't shorten it!

Balls, guys, pics, and a drunken call

I have a buddy that I've been playing racketball with for about 2 months now. He started chatting with me in spin class in an attempt to not so subtly flirt. He's not my type at all, but I won't not talk to someone just for that reason. He's an older gentleman (late 50's/early 60's, I would guesstimate)...but he kicks my butt every time! He *is* a good player, but he does things that I think are not exactly kosher. For example, he'll make a shot and then stand in the way of me getting to the ball. I realize that you can call him out on it and re-do the point, but he does it so frequently that we would be playing "re-do's" for most of the match. Also, he prides himself on "cheap shots." I know that they take a certain skill, but come on! I would much rather have a good rally and lose a point from that instead of a cheap shot! Am I being a sore loser? I honestly don't think so. I can accept defeat...I would just rather lose to a good player, not a blocking/cheap shot player...

I met a guy this past weekend at a local drinking hole. I was there with a friend watching the Georgia/Tennessee game (don't get me started...) when I ran into another friend. He was there with a group of guys celebrating a birthday. I had met one of the guys in the party once before, so we started talking. As the night went on, we continued to talk and flirt. I don't know how we got on the subject, but he nonchalantly said, "yeah...Robbie (birthday boy) is a good guy...I'd date him in a heartbeat, but he would never date me..." I don't know if it was the tequila shots that they were downing that clouded his judgment or what, but I don't really think this is something that you say to someone that you're currently flirting with! Is this a red flag? We've chatted on the phone a couple of times and have plans to go out, so I guess I'll see...

David is a weekly, gay publication here in Atlanta. It consists of editorials, going on's for the week/weekend, ads, pictures, etc. This week, one of my friends was on one of the picture pages. For the life of him, he couldn't remember when he had gotten this picture taken. And then it came to him... He and I had gone to an Art Walk one Friday night. Individual art galleries within an art gallery were showcasing the works of their various artists. Food, wine, cocktails, cute boys...it was a fun pre-going out event to go to. While we were there, a photographer from David asked if he could take our picture. Yes, OUR picture! Evidently, I didn't make the cut. S found this particularly ironic because he thought that they wanted to take the picture because of me--since I was the "younger, cuter one" (according to him). Talk about a shot to the ego! I guess I wasn't David material that night...lol.

While strolling down the isles of Target, I recieved a phone call from my little-big sis. I call her this because she is smaller than me physically, but older than me. Normally, this would not be a blog-worthy topic...if it weren't for the fact that it was a drunken call! A little background...she's 29, married, has 2 kids (4 and 5), and hardly drinks. When, and if, she drinks, it's usually just one drink. She and the family had gone to Pigeon Forge for a long weekend getaway. Not knowing that it was a dry county, all they could buy was beer. She called to tell me that she missed her "drinking buddy" and chatted nonstop for about an hour. Makes a bro proud...

*My* BooBoo Fixer

My mom tells a story about when I was in kindergarten. Apparently, I had fallen off of the jungle gym during recess and had a huge gash on my forehead. My teacher had managed to stop the bleeding while we waited for my mom. All that was left was a big knot on my forehead. Once my mom stepped foot into the room, she says that I began to ball. A little frazzled, my teacher tried to explain to my mom that I hadn't cried once until she got there.

That's the way I've always viewed my mom, I guess--the nurturer, the fixer of messes, the rock in my life, the right of all wrong, the one that will make everything better.

Well, it happened again this past Monday. The day had just been horrible. Nothing seemed to go right. Among things I won't go into, my eye was swollen for most of the morning. Apparently, I had scratched the white of my eye with my fingernail when I had rubbed it. With that, the white of my eye was literally swollen and red, which made my whole eye puffy. I had to sit through our Monday morning sales meeting looking like this. On top of being embarrassed, work was hella stressful and busy. Overwhelmed and stress, I left work feeling like nothing had gone right. On my way home, I remembered that my mom had called during the day, but I couldn't talk due to being so busy. As I dialed, I just told myself to chalk the day to a bad day and go for a good run when I got home. Within a few seconds of the conversation, I could feel the tears welling up. I could no longer keep them inside. As I answered a question she had asked, my voice quivered from a tear.

"What's wrong, baby?"
"I dunno...today was just horrible. ..."

As I went into the events of the day, the tears freely flowed. I didn't care that I was in the middle of rush hour traffic on I-75.

"Do you want me to come down there?"
"Oh, no...I'll be fine. I just need to go for a run."
"Don't you think you should just go home and rest?"
"No, running will make me feel better."
"Oh, if it will, then ok. Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yes...thank you."
"I Love You, baby..."
"I know...I love you, too. I'll be fine."
"Call me if you need to later, ok? I'll be here all night."

With that, I assured her that I was ok. That it was just a bad day.

So, once again, just talking to her on the phone made me that vulnerable little boy sitting with a knot on my head in my kindergarten classroom...

You thought you knew...but you don't.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14364833/

I don't get it. How are you gonna just up and change the definition of a word that has been set since the beginning of science? Is there gonna be a new generation that can now say, "I remember when there were only 9 planets..." I mean, what's gonna happen to the riddle that helped all of us remember the order of the 9 planets?

My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pies.
(Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto)

Are we going to have to learn a new riddle when our kids come home and have to learn the order to 100+ planets? You laugh at the possibility of 100+ planets, but according to the article, there are already 53 planets if you go by this new definition. I'm not one that is opposed to change, but come on. How can you change something that has always been known? "How many planets are there in the solar system? 9." You didn't have to think about it. You didn't sit there and argue the definition of a planet. "Well, if you use gravity or nature as a deciding factor, then there are 9 planets vs #(&$&$(&#$# planets."

If we start to question and change the fundamental things that have always been known, then where does it stop? I understand that one has to question and learn new things in order to grow, but when is too much too much?

I knew it!

You are Superman

Superman 80%: You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Robin 75%
The Flash 75%
Spider-Man 70%
Green Lantern 60%
Catwoman 60%
Iron Man 60%
Supergirl 55%
Hulk 55%
Batman 45%
Wonder Woman 35%

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Would ya like a mint?

You know the scenario: You and a friend are talking at a bar when someone that you both haven't seen in a while walks by. He stops to exchange pleasantries and then goes on his way. Your friend turns to you and says, "If I EVER have breath like that, you'd BETTER tell me!" To which I respond, "Oh trust me, I will! And you'd better do the same!"

This brings me to my point. Does said friend really want you to tell him if he has bad breath? This little scenario popped into my head twice this weekend. Once while catching up with a friend at a bar and the other when a friend met 3 of us for a movie. At what point are you being offended opposed to being offensive?

Just for the record, I would definitely want to be told if my breath is offensive! I'll prolly be a little embarrassed, but it's better than going up to someone that you think is cute and being offensive.

Things that don't make any sense

~I went to bed with briefs on and woke up naked. I went to bed late last night (early this morning, rather) and didn't wake up at all (that I can recall) during the night. No one else was in bed with me. What exactly was *in* those drinks that my friend was giving me? Hrmmm...

~I drink diet drinks, I use splenda or sweet 'n low in my coffee, I drink/eat sugar free/low fat/fat free stuff...yet I eat pieces of full sugar candy throughout the day. It makes no sense. We have a co-worker that keeps her desk stocked with M&M's, caramel chews, Laffy Taffy, Reeses mini cups, etc., so all of that candy is just readily available to everyone. She likes to do this for us because people visit her and it makes her happy to make us happy. We've dubbed her "the Candy Lady"...but it's pure evil, I tell ya!

~There is a guy at the gym that does all the cardio machines with an empty bookbag on. Whether it's the stairmaster or the treadmill or the elliptical machine, he always has that darn, EMPTY bookbag on! I know that it's empty because I've seen him pull it out of his gym bag that has his change of clothes, shower stuff, etc. It has to weigh like, what, maybe 1/4 of a pound? What is his logic behind this?

~I met a guy last night that had French tips on his toe nails. That's not even the weirdest part. He thinks he's butch/masculine. He needs to get a clue.

~How different a person can act in person vs how they "act" via AIM/texting/chatting online. What's up with that? He seemed so friendly and nice online.

~There are several people in my condo complex that I've talked with, yet I don't know their names. We've never formally introduced ourselves, yet we "know" each other. And now it's to the point that I can't just be like, "Hey, I'm Stephen. What's your name?" I could say, "I know that we've talked many times before, but I don't think I ever got your name..." Is that socially acceptable at this point?

~Women who wear spandex or just a sports bra for a top that shouldn't. On one hand, more power to ya! But on the other...no one wants to see all that junk hanging out. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm really not, but why do they think it's ok? Well, I'm here to tell you that it's NOT.

Preface to below rant

I feel like I need to preface the below rant. I *am* over J--despite the fact that I'm bringing this up after 3 weeks since the actual incident. BUT...I will be the first to admit that he is still one of those people that gets to me... (a fact that I hate).

One of my friends and I were talking about the incident this morning, hince the post. He said, "love is a strange thing...jealousy is even stranger..." To which I responded, "Not after almost 4 years--you give up that right. Once a break-up ensues, all bets are off. You can no longer call dibs on that person. You can no longer hike your leg and mark your territory."

Right?

What are your rights...

...after a break up?

None. Zilch. Nil. Nada.

Let me explain...

About 3 weekends ago, 2 friends and I were invited to a birthday party. I met said friends thru J back in college when we were dating. We've been broken up for almost 4 years now, so it's safe to say that we've both moved on. Well, since our break-up, the 2 said friends have become closer to me than they have J. We all 3 go out on a weekly basis (usually), they've been over to my pool numerous times, we have cookouts, etc. Well, 1 of said friends is S, the one that I've made out with . Anyway, on with the story. One of them invites J along--which I'm cool with. J wants to drive and none of us object, so off to the party we go. Everything is cool...we're all having fun, etc. As the party begins to dwindle, the 4 of us and some others decide to go out to a danceclub. Again, J is still driving, so none of the rest of us have cars. Through the course of dancing, drinking, having a good time, etc., S and I start making out on the dancefloor. The next thing I know, I receive a text from J saying, "I'm gonna go, this is too weird."

Whoa! What? Huh? Hold up! Back it up!

First: Where do you get off getting upset about S and me making out?!?!?!? We've been broken up for nearly 4 years...you have a bf of 2+ yrs...I was the one that wanted US to work when YOU broke up with ME!
Second: How are you gonna just up and leave us there with no car?!?!? Not ok!

Luckily, we knew people at the club, so 1 of said friends got a ride to his car and picked us up. Apparently, J had text messaged him saying, "I shouldn't have to watch [S] and [1GAR] making out!"

I'm sorry, but YOU broke up with ME. You have NO right to get upset. Period.

Man! I feel like a [old]man!

Despite my pulled butt muscle/pinched nerve, my workout routines haven't been affected at all. I can still lift weights, run, bike, and swim. Well, I decided to go on a 7 mile run yesterday after work. Usually, this would be a normal feat for me, but many factors were working against me yesterday...but I did it anyway. I hadn't hydrated enough throughout the day, it was still in the mid 90's, said pulled muscle/pinched nerve, AND I didn't pick the easiest route. Halfway through my run, my calf started to get sore. But...being the freak that I am, I pushed through. I finished the run and stretched, but I still felt the ache in my calf. *Fast forward to this morning* Um...yeah...it still hurt. Not only did my butt cheek hurt, but now I had the calf on the same leg aching...crap. So, I went for my normal workout during lunch today and I felt like a gimp. I was gimping around like an old man. That made me feel old.

I have actually caught myself saying the phrase, "kids these days..." AND...it's been on more than 1 occasion. What's up with that?

I couldn't tell you what new shows are on MTV anymore. That used to be THE channel I watched all the time. When did this change?

Along the lines of the above point, I haven't watched a Real World, Road Rules, or Real World/Road Rules Challege in a couple of years. I used to want to be ON one of these shows! Now, I don't even know where the latest installment is taking place. So sad.

I've been out of college for longer than I was in college.

I can say, "I remember when _____ used to be here." This applies to clubs/bars in both Atlanta and Athens.

When did this change take place? When did I suddenly become old? I know that 26 isn't old, but sometimes I just feel that way. (and don't even get me started on how old I am in gay years!)

Update

~The move is FINALLY over!
~The before mentioned pulled muscle/pinched nerve in my right butt cheek still hurts. It makes me feel old.
~I saw just how bad my childhood dog's arthritis really is. It made me sad.
~I think my dog (Dakota) is gay. Between the above mentioned male dog and my mom's female dog, he followed the male dog around all weekend and sniffed his stuff. Makes me so proud. Like father like dog.
~After helping my mom and sis's family move this past weekend, I returned to my small condo. Coming home from their 7 acres and huge house, it made me see how small my place really is. Oh well. It's cozy.
~To my niece and nephew, I am better than sliced bread. Their big, tight, bear hugs tell me so.
~This is the first time in 8 years that I haven't moved/changed apartments. This is the first time in 8 years that my sis and her family have moved. This is the first time in 30+ years that my mom has moved. Funny, isn't it?

Is a smile just a smile?

Once you graduate from college, the dating pool somehow seems to instantaneously get smaller. Heck, *a* dating pool of like minded people seems to become hard to even locate! You are no longer smack dab in the middle of 36,000+ people within your age bracket (yes, I went to a huge university--UGA--and I freakin' loved it! GO DAWGS! Sic 'em! Woof! Woof! Woof!...sorry for that minor detour...) You start living in the "real world," and that soon becomes monotonous. Get up, work, gym, eat, watch tv, sleep. Repeat. Maybe hangout with friends during the week, but usually not.

So, then the question starts to rear it's ugly head: Where do you meet new people? The common answers: work, gym, bars/clubs, join a group, through friends, etc.

I see a major fallacy in one of the said answers...the gym. I don't know about you, but I've been going to the gym regularly for many years now (some call me a freak, but let's not go into that right now...) and I have never been able to read people at the gym. Being gay might be a part of it, but to me, it's a very ambiguous playing field.

You look up to see a guy looking at you. He smiles. Do you smile back? Is he looking *at* you? Is the smile just a smile? Does he just want the bench that you're at? Is he even gay?

Is my gaydar just *that* defunct? "Yes, I would like to get a tune-up. My gaydar seems to be malfunctioning."

Whether you are gay or straight, the gym is a seemingly prime location to meet people, right? They are obviously in shape, or trying to get in shape. Most of the guys that are there are usually cute and buff. Let's face it, it's a hot bed of eye candy. Period.

Maybe I'll get up the nerve to actually say hey to someone who smiles at me at the gym? Pigs can fly, right?

Random $#*!

~I've lived in my condo for over a year now. Is it too late to have a house warming party? I think so.

~There's this guy in one of my spin classes that is always friendly. On a whim, I asked him if he played racketball. He said he has before, but not in a while--like me. I asked if he would like to play one morning and he cringed at the idea of a 6am racketball game, but decided to do it. After the spin class was over, I said, "you don't have to come if you don't want to..." To which he replied, "OH...I want to come..." (in an old man, nasty way). Eww. Gross. He could be my father. Eww. Gross.

~My weekends have been spent helping my mom, sister, bro-in-law, and kids pack and move. For 3 weekends now. Fun.

~I think I have a pinched nerve on my right butt cheek because of said packing and moving.

~I haven't raced at all this year. Sad. Well...outside of the one duathlon in April, that is. How long can you be "training for triathlons"? I need to race. Note. To. Self.

~My mom bought my dog a HUGE rawhide. It's like 2.5 ft long! When I got home Monday afternoon, I just laughed at him trying to carry it. He was staggering sideways because it was so big. Fool.

~I"m loving "So You Think You Can Dance." Who knew?

~Does an ex of nearly 4 years have the right to get jealous because I kissed a guy on the dancefloor of a club? No. Well...it is a mutual friend, but in my defense, he's more my friend than his. That sounded childish. Blah.

~Why is it that I bought a 12pk of 16oz beer for less than a 12pk of 12oz beer? Score!

~I've gotten a flat on my bike twice now. I went over a year and a half without 1 flat and then BAM! What are the odds?

~We caught a co-worker asleep in his office today. He had his chin propped up with a coffee mug. Freakin'. Hilarious.

~I started going to the spin class on Friday's after work because of the cute instructor. I've been going to his class for 3 months or so. He flirts. I flirt. So. Yeah. I found out he's straight. Dang. It. Maybe he wants to venture over to the other side? Hrmm. I wouldn't be opposed. *gasp* Horrible. (shakes head) He *is* cute, tho...

The Resurrection

I've recently stumbled upon some interesting blogs--which, in turn, gave me the "blogging" bug again. LOL.

Will I keep with it this time? Who knows.
Will I feel creative enough to blog more? We'll see.

This is the only blog that I've "resurrected." I've had 2 prior blogs...only to abandon them and never pick back up...

Stay tuned to see if *this* guy can rant on a normal basis.

This is sad...

...this is the 3rd whole post in 2006...wow...

Will I get better? Who knows...

The Beta Benedict (Benny) Colbert

(a spin off of the way the Pope is referred to as...)

On the afternoon of Saturday, January 7th, 2006, Benedict (often referred to as Benny) Colbert passed away. He spent 3.5 years with his owner, Stephen. He loved to swim, eat, squirm around in his bowl, and show his various shades of blue, green, and purple. His fondest memories were moving every year with his owner into a new apartment. Now that his owner had "settled down," he enjoyed his more permanent surroundings. His service was held outside of his owner's condo on Sunday, January 8th. He will be missed. RIP.