Validation

Late night call from my friend Matt last night:

Matt: Hey, you'll never guess who I just got finished hanging out with...
Me: Oh lord...who?
Matt: Well, I went to Burkhart's with a friend and saw Justin and...Chris there.
Me: Oh lord...
Matt: No, it was good. Chris told me that he's done with drugs and that he's trying to clean up his life up. When we left, he gave me a hug and said, "I'm really sorry for how I treated you toward the end...I hope you're not bitter because of it..." 1GAR, I never thought I'd hear him say those words...
Me: Wow...I can't either. That was very big of him. It takes a lot to be able to say that...
Matt: (voice a little shaky)...yeah...it meant a lot. I mean, I'm totally over him, but it's just nice to finally hear him say that.
Me: Yeah, it's good to get that validation...

You could tell that it really meant a lot to Matt to hear Chris say that. He got the "validation" that he's been looking for since their relationship ended almost 2 years ago. Most of us never get that validation, hince why people become bitter and jaded. I laid in my bed feeling happy for him. I know how much Chris messed up his life.

If only we could all get our validation...

Just 1 more mile...

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to run. Seriously. I've been running since I was in 8th grade, so it's just second nature to me. It's something that has always been the "rock" in my life. No matter what mood I'm in or what's going on in my life, I always feel better after a good run. Well, this past Thanksgiving morning was my 2nd marathon. Here are the results:

3 hrs 16 min 22 sec
6th in my age group
36th overall ! ! !
(out of 449 men/569 total)

I'm only 6 minutes away from qualifying for Boston! I honestly got so overwhelmed when I finished that I almost teared up. Almost. All the training, all the time put into it, all of it was worth it.

Yes, running is my addiction...and this just took it to another level.

A different type of wake-up call...

I was awakened by the sound of my neighbors having sex yesterday morning.

6:30am
"OH. OH BABY. OH. OH BABY."
repeat over and over...and over.
No variation. Just that.

Sorta gross. Sorta not. She's hot, he's not. I'm gay, so this doesn't interest me.

Have they heard me before?

Not that I'm that active, but still. Oh well, such is life...

"Tour de Restaurants"

Since this is a short week, I didn't go grocery shopping. I got to thinking, I've lived in my condo for almost a year and a half now and I've never eaten at the quaint restaurants around my complex. So, that's what I've been doing.

Monday night: Figo Pasta.
I've been to other locations, just not the one right next to my complex. You sorta "build" your own pasta dish, so you can't really go wrong. Must. Go. Back.

Tuesday night: The Big Easy.
Yes, you guessed right, cajun/New Orleans style food. It's more of a bar/restaurant. I got the jumbalaya and a pint of pale ale. It was good (at the time). A little overpriced--$15 for spicy rice, sausage, and chicken. No crawfish or shrimp. All in all, a neat little bar/restaurant.

***fast forward to about 1:30am this morning***

1GAR woke up to horrible stomach pains and felt like I was going to throw up. I head to the bathroom and plopped down on the porcelain god...and yeah...I'll let you use your imagination. I won't be going there any time soon.

Since I'm headed up to the family's house for Thanksgiving, this is the extent of my "tour de restaurants" for the time being.

1GAR and Guys

What is up with me and meeting the wrong guys? Here are 2 examples since last Friday...

Example #1:
One of my co-workers stopped me as I passed her desk. Her daughter and one of her friends had come to visit her on Monday. As I passed, she stopped me...

Co-worker: Hey 1GAR, How old are you?
Me: 26...
Co-worker: Well, my daughter's friend wanted me to give you this...
***hands me a post-it note with his name and number***
He's 18. He saw you pass by ealier and thought you were cute.
Me: Is this the same guy from the Christmas party?
Co-worker: No, that's someone else.
Me: Ok...well...thanks...
***walks off chuckling***

Yes, you read right...the same daughter had another friend who gave me his number.
First thought: Does her daughter only hang out with gay guys?
Second thought: He's 18 for goodness saked! Too young! Flattering, but no thanks.

Example #2:
I went out with some friends last Friday night. While out, I saw another friend that I knew, so I went up and talked to him for a bit. He introduced me to his friends and we all hung out. As the night progressed, one of his friends wanted to get my number so we could hang out. He seemed nice, so I gave it to him.

***fast forward to yesterday afternoon***

Charlie: Hey 1GAR, this is Charlie from the other night. Ron's friend...
Me: Oh hey! How are you?
Charlie: I'm good, I just wanted to call and see what was up.
Me: I'm good...just at work right now. Can I call you back later?
Charlie: Sure...
Me: Ok, talk to you soon!
Charlie: Ok, bye.

***fast forward to later that evening at home after my run***

Text message from Charlie:
I would really like to hang out with you soon.

So, I text back, "Sure. Sounds good."
Then he texts, "Cool. You seem really nice and I want to get to know you."
A couple of seconds later: "Plus, would love to see that sexy, hot bod of yours!"

Delete.

WTF?!?!?! Can I not meet normal guys around my age? That's not too much to ask, is it? And if I do meet someone that meets those minimal criteria, then something else goes wrong. Like the guy that I went out with a couple of times a few weeks ago. He and I got along, he was "normal", cute, etc. Only thing is...all he was interested in was sex. I wouldn't put out, so I haven't heard back from him.

*These* are the types of guys I meet. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's the universe. I dunno...I give up.

Good Sounds

What's playing on my iPod?

Sister Hazel's new album Absolutely - this is one of my all time favorite bands! Their new cd delivers everything that I love about them--great lyrics, vocals, guitar playing, etc.

Panic at the Disco's A Fever You Can't Sweat Out - If you like I Write Sins Not Tragedy's, then you'll like the whole cd.

Josh Kelley - he's one of my new favorite artists. I had heard one of his songs and then I listened to more on iTunes. I ended up downloading all of his cd's! He's a cross between Jack Johnson and John Mayer.

John Mayer's Continuum - just good John Mayer sounds!

Snow Patrol Eyes Open - just another good band. Period.

Hinder's Extreme Behavior (Digital Version) - a good new rock band.

Nickelback's All The Right Reason's - another good rock band.

(I told you I downloaded a butt-load of music on my day off!)

Text Messages

Text messages between me and a guy that I've gone on 1 date with - he's been out of town a lot lately. We've been planning on getting together again, but the timing has been bad.

me: Can you make any time for me this week? ;)
him: How about tomorrow?
me: Sounds good.
I called him a little later, but got voicemail. Then...

(text first thing this morning)

him: Hey. Went to sleep at 10:30. How about 8 tonight?
me: Sure...meet at ur place?
him: Yes. I have a place I want to take you for dinner.
*made me smile*

Day Off

On my day off, I…

Slept late
Went to the gym (of course!)
Ate sushi
Went to Starbucks
Downloaded a butt load of music on iTunes
Watched the AMA’s

While at the gym, I got to thinking—what do all these people do that affords them the luxury of being at the gym at 2:30 on a Monday afternoon? Were they also taking a day off? Are they housewives? Self employed? Not currently working? Independently wealthy?

It always amazes me what different paths we all have. A typical day for me isn’t necessarily a typical day for the next Joe. Today was actually an Atypical day for me. It was a day just for me. Nothing of necessity got done. Yes…there were things I should have done. But I’ll leave that for another day.

Today was nice.

Evolution

Evolution: Good or Bad? When it comes to beauty, I'm not sure if we have. Like women, gay men feel "pressure" to look their best. As cliche-ish as it sounds, if you don't look like an Abercrombie model, then some guys won't even look at you. At some point, you have to start ignoring this negative, unrealistic cliche and live in the real world. People come in many different, beautiful forms, shapes, faces, etc...when will we learn this? From a very early age, we are told that we are all unique...and that it's beautiful and ok and good. Why can't THIS lesson be what sticks with us instead of the unattainable, unrealistic cliche that most of us strive for? Only then will we be able to evolve...

Getting Your Hairs Cut

If you think about it, getting your haircut can be a very sensual act (notice I said can be--not always). As I was getting my hair cut last night in preparation for a date (more on this later), I got to thinking about this.

The person (of course it was a girl...dang it!) has their fingers through your hair.
Her boobies (did I really just say boobies??? I'm back in 6th grade...) are right there in front of your face (literally).
She is "performing" for your approval.
Communication is a must if you want the end outcome to be good.
...and...
...wait for it...
...wait for it...
She gets paid for her services! LOLOLOL

Another thing about getting a haircut is the reaction from others:

"Did you get your hair cut?" (Gotta love this one...why did you ask when you already knew the answer???)
"Oh, you got your hair cut..." (I hate this one. They don't say whether they like it or not, they just leave it at that.)
"I like your haircut." (I like this one, of course. It shows that they acknowledge that you got a haircut and that they like it.)

And yes, I've gotten all of the said responses today.

To Settle or Not To Settle

I've always stood firm on my position to the above topic. I'm on the "not to settle" team. I don't want to settle for someone, and I sure as heck don't want anyone to settle for me. But when does not wanting to settle cross over into the too picky category? Sure...we all settle to some degree, but when is too much too much?

I went out with a guy this past weekend that we'll call B. I met him a week earlier through a friend. In said meeting, a red flag went up, but I decided to overlook it. For the next week, we texted and talked on the phone daily. I had a pretty busy weekend planned but he wanted to get together at some point, so I invited him along to the 2 parties that I was going to on Saturday. While we had a good time, I just didn't feel it--even with the amount of alcohol that I consumed! One of my friends commented on how cute he was, so that made me think... Am I being too picky?

Said red flag...not a big deal.
He's 32, I'm 26...not a big deal.
He lives an hour away...mmmk...
He has 2 snakes...that just freaks me out.
He wants to get a tattoo on his entire upper thigh...X!
PLUS...I wasn't feeling it...

So, at this point, I don't think that I'm too picky...I just don't want to settle. I will overlook some things, but not too many things.

A first

I've never posted pictures on my blog, so this is a first. Here's my baby, Bailey, when he was about 12 weeks old. He's about 4 months and a weeks old now. He's the cutest Golden Retriever ever! More pics to come:)

Getting To Know You

...well...me, actually.

Top 5 Song
My Love - Justin Timberlake
Chasing Cars - SnowPatrol
Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
Lips of an Angel - Hinder
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake

Top 5 Guys
Steve Sandvoss
Justin Hartley
Tom Welling
Channing Tatum
David Beckham

Top 5 TV Shows
Brothers and Sisters
Six Degrees
Heros
Grey's Anatomy
Desperate Housewives

Top 5 things I can't live without
ChapStick
iPod
Running Shoes
My Family
Good Friends

Random stuff
Diet or Regular? Diet
Coke or Pepsi? Diet Pepsi
Wine or Beer? Depends...I like both...but I'll pick wine
Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
Dogs or Cats? Dogs
Urban or Rural? Urban
Boxers or Briefs? Briefs
New York or LA? New York
Coffee or Tea? Coffee
Favorite Drink: SugarFree RedBull and Vodka
Favorite Band: Sister Hazel
Favorite Reality Show: The Amazing Race
Favorite Pizza Toppings: Ham and Pineapple or Mushroom
First thing you notice about someone: smile...then eyes
Favorite Color: Blue
Favorite dessert: Cheesecake
Do you believe in Monogomy? Yes, absolutely!
Do you believe in love at first sight? No...I think it's lust or intrigue at first sight.
Do you want kids? Yes
Money not a factor, if you could travel anywhere, where would it be? Australia
Pet Peeve: Calling me "Steve"...I'm not a Steve, I'm a Stephen...don't shorten it!

Balls, guys, pics, and a drunken call

I have a buddy that I've been playing racketball with for about 2 months now. He started chatting with me in spin class in an attempt to not so subtly flirt. He's not my type at all, but I won't not talk to someone just for that reason. He's an older gentleman (late 50's/early 60's, I would guesstimate)...but he kicks my butt every time! He *is* a good player, but he does things that I think are not exactly kosher. For example, he'll make a shot and then stand in the way of me getting to the ball. I realize that you can call him out on it and re-do the point, but he does it so frequently that we would be playing "re-do's" for most of the match. Also, he prides himself on "cheap shots." I know that they take a certain skill, but come on! I would much rather have a good rally and lose a point from that instead of a cheap shot! Am I being a sore loser? I honestly don't think so. I can accept defeat...I would just rather lose to a good player, not a blocking/cheap shot player...

I met a guy this past weekend at a local drinking hole. I was there with a friend watching the Georgia/Tennessee game (don't get me started...) when I ran into another friend. He was there with a group of guys celebrating a birthday. I had met one of the guys in the party once before, so we started talking. As the night went on, we continued to talk and flirt. I don't know how we got on the subject, but he nonchalantly said, "yeah...Robbie (birthday boy) is a good guy...I'd date him in a heartbeat, but he would never date me..." I don't know if it was the tequila shots that they were downing that clouded his judgment or what, but I don't really think this is something that you say to someone that you're currently flirting with! Is this a red flag? We've chatted on the phone a couple of times and have plans to go out, so I guess I'll see...

David is a weekly, gay publication here in Atlanta. It consists of editorials, going on's for the week/weekend, ads, pictures, etc. This week, one of my friends was on one of the picture pages. For the life of him, he couldn't remember when he had gotten this picture taken. And then it came to him... He and I had gone to an Art Walk one Friday night. Individual art galleries within an art gallery were showcasing the works of their various artists. Food, wine, cocktails, cute boys...it was a fun pre-going out event to go to. While we were there, a photographer from David asked if he could take our picture. Yes, OUR picture! Evidently, I didn't make the cut. S found this particularly ironic because he thought that they wanted to take the picture because of me--since I was the "younger, cuter one" (according to him). Talk about a shot to the ego! I guess I wasn't David material that night...lol.

While strolling down the isles of Target, I recieved a phone call from my little-big sis. I call her this because she is smaller than me physically, but older than me. Normally, this would not be a blog-worthy topic...if it weren't for the fact that it was a drunken call! A little background...she's 29, married, has 2 kids (4 and 5), and hardly drinks. When, and if, she drinks, it's usually just one drink. She and the family had gone to Pigeon Forge for a long weekend getaway. Not knowing that it was a dry county, all they could buy was beer. She called to tell me that she missed her "drinking buddy" and chatted nonstop for about an hour. Makes a bro proud...

*My* BooBoo Fixer

My mom tells a story about when I was in kindergarten. Apparently, I had fallen off of the jungle gym during recess and had a huge gash on my forehead. My teacher had managed to stop the bleeding while we waited for my mom. All that was left was a big knot on my forehead. Once my mom stepped foot into the room, she says that I began to ball. A little frazzled, my teacher tried to explain to my mom that I hadn't cried once until she got there.

That's the way I've always viewed my mom, I guess--the nurturer, the fixer of messes, the rock in my life, the right of all wrong, the one that will make everything better.

Well, it happened again this past Monday. The day had just been horrible. Nothing seemed to go right. Among things I won't go into, my eye was swollen for most of the morning. Apparently, I had scratched the white of my eye with my fingernail when I had rubbed it. With that, the white of my eye was literally swollen and red, which made my whole eye puffy. I had to sit through our Monday morning sales meeting looking like this. On top of being embarrassed, work was hella stressful and busy. Overwhelmed and stress, I left work feeling like nothing had gone right. On my way home, I remembered that my mom had called during the day, but I couldn't talk due to being so busy. As I dialed, I just told myself to chalk the day to a bad day and go for a good run when I got home. Within a few seconds of the conversation, I could feel the tears welling up. I could no longer keep them inside. As I answered a question she had asked, my voice quivered from a tear.

"What's wrong, baby?"
"I dunno...today was just horrible. ..."

As I went into the events of the day, the tears freely flowed. I didn't care that I was in the middle of rush hour traffic on I-75.

"Do you want me to come down there?"
"Oh, no...I'll be fine. I just need to go for a run."
"Don't you think you should just go home and rest?"
"No, running will make me feel better."
"Oh, if it will, then ok. Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yes...thank you."
"I Love You, baby..."
"I know...I love you, too. I'll be fine."
"Call me if you need to later, ok? I'll be here all night."

With that, I assured her that I was ok. That it was just a bad day.

So, once again, just talking to her on the phone made me that vulnerable little boy sitting with a knot on my head in my kindergarten classroom...

You thought you knew...but you don't.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14364833/

I don't get it. How are you gonna just up and change the definition of a word that has been set since the beginning of science? Is there gonna be a new generation that can now say, "I remember when there were only 9 planets..." I mean, what's gonna happen to the riddle that helped all of us remember the order of the 9 planets?

My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pies.
(Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto)

Are we going to have to learn a new riddle when our kids come home and have to learn the order to 100+ planets? You laugh at the possibility of 100+ planets, but according to the article, there are already 53 planets if you go by this new definition. I'm not one that is opposed to change, but come on. How can you change something that has always been known? "How many planets are there in the solar system? 9." You didn't have to think about it. You didn't sit there and argue the definition of a planet. "Well, if you use gravity or nature as a deciding factor, then there are 9 planets vs #(&$&$(&#$# planets."

If we start to question and change the fundamental things that have always been known, then where does it stop? I understand that one has to question and learn new things in order to grow, but when is too much too much?

I knew it!

You are Superman

Superman 80%: You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Robin 75%
The Flash 75%
Spider-Man 70%
Green Lantern 60%
Catwoman 60%
Iron Man 60%
Supergirl 55%
Hulk 55%
Batman 45%
Wonder Woman 35%

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Would ya like a mint?

You know the scenario: You and a friend are talking at a bar when someone that you both haven't seen in a while walks by. He stops to exchange pleasantries and then goes on his way. Your friend turns to you and says, "If I EVER have breath like that, you'd BETTER tell me!" To which I respond, "Oh trust me, I will! And you'd better do the same!"

This brings me to my point. Does said friend really want you to tell him if he has bad breath? This little scenario popped into my head twice this weekend. Once while catching up with a friend at a bar and the other when a friend met 3 of us for a movie. At what point are you being offended opposed to being offensive?

Just for the record, I would definitely want to be told if my breath is offensive! I'll prolly be a little embarrassed, but it's better than going up to someone that you think is cute and being offensive.

Things that don't make any sense

~I went to bed with briefs on and woke up naked. I went to bed late last night (early this morning, rather) and didn't wake up at all (that I can recall) during the night. No one else was in bed with me. What exactly was *in* those drinks that my friend was giving me? Hrmmm...

~I drink diet drinks, I use splenda or sweet 'n low in my coffee, I drink/eat sugar free/low fat/fat free stuff...yet I eat pieces of full sugar candy throughout the day. It makes no sense. We have a co-worker that keeps her desk stocked with M&M's, caramel chews, Laffy Taffy, Reeses mini cups, etc., so all of that candy is just readily available to everyone. She likes to do this for us because people visit her and it makes her happy to make us happy. We've dubbed her "the Candy Lady"...but it's pure evil, I tell ya!

~There is a guy at the gym that does all the cardio machines with an empty bookbag on. Whether it's the stairmaster or the treadmill or the elliptical machine, he always has that darn, EMPTY bookbag on! I know that it's empty because I've seen him pull it out of his gym bag that has his change of clothes, shower stuff, etc. It has to weigh like, what, maybe 1/4 of a pound? What is his logic behind this?

~I met a guy last night that had French tips on his toe nails. That's not even the weirdest part. He thinks he's butch/masculine. He needs to get a clue.

~How different a person can act in person vs how they "act" via AIM/texting/chatting online. What's up with that? He seemed so friendly and nice online.

~There are several people in my condo complex that I've talked with, yet I don't know their names. We've never formally introduced ourselves, yet we "know" each other. And now it's to the point that I can't just be like, "Hey, I'm Stephen. What's your name?" I could say, "I know that we've talked many times before, but I don't think I ever got your name..." Is that socially acceptable at this point?

~Women who wear spandex or just a sports bra for a top that shouldn't. On one hand, more power to ya! But on the other...no one wants to see all that junk hanging out. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm really not, but why do they think it's ok? Well, I'm here to tell you that it's NOT.

Preface to below rant

I feel like I need to preface the below rant. I *am* over J--despite the fact that I'm bringing this up after 3 weeks since the actual incident. BUT...I will be the first to admit that he is still one of those people that gets to me... (a fact that I hate).

One of my friends and I were talking about the incident this morning, hince the post. He said, "love is a strange thing...jealousy is even stranger..." To which I responded, "Not after almost 4 years--you give up that right. Once a break-up ensues, all bets are off. You can no longer call dibs on that person. You can no longer hike your leg and mark your territory."

Right?