All of this is new to me. I'm not hanging around a lot of my old friends. I'm surrounded by a bunch of straight guys who have no clue that I'm gay. I haven't had anything alcoholic in over 6 months - which I really could take or leave at this point. I'm in a different part of Atlanta. I'm faced with feelings and emotions that I can't drink over - I was never a blackout drunk, but a cocktail always helped deal with my feelings/emotions/issues/drama/etc.
Do I truly believe that I'm an alcoholic? I dunno. I went into rehab/still am keeping an open mind about all of this. I go to meetings and don't mind going. I've never left a meeting not feeling good. I have friends that definitely believe that I'm NOT an alcoholic - in part, I think, because it makes them look at their own life. My family, on the other hand, is convinced that I am. I can't deny the fact that the DUI's is a major problem. That's without question. And that has caused a problem in my life. And if something causes a problem in your life, then it's a problem. Period. That's the way I'm looking at it right now. A day at a time. Will I ever drink again? Who knows. Just not today.
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5 comments:
I was dwelling on this very same issue today. Try as I might, I couldn't get you out of my mind.
DUI's are a problem. You know that by now...
But, Stephen, I don't know you well enough to know if you are an alcoholic or not.
You could have just been having too much fun and have a knoack for being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
It DOES happen.
But, I do know this, you seem like an awfully disciplined man. Whatever you choose to do at this point, I know you will follow through.
Of that, I have no doubt.
I'll email you soon, big guy.
Oh yeah, you can email or chat me up damned near ANYtime at southernex@gmail.
If I'm not around, I'll be back soon.
I'll do just that! Thanks, Brad!
Hi Stephen - Happy New Year to you. Something told me I should check out my old blog (which has been defunct for quite some time), and of course you popped into my mind. I'm sure you have no shortage of friends and family offering reassurances and kind words, but just wanted to add my little bit of reassurance and kindness to the stack :-). Keep taking it one day at a time and know that you don't really have anything to prove to anyone. Keep your head up.
All the best,
G
Thanks, G! Where have you been? Happy New Year to you, too!
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