A New Kind of Year

All of this is new to me. I'm not hanging around a lot of my old friends. I'm surrounded by a bunch of straight guys who have no clue that I'm gay. I haven't had anything alcoholic in over 6 months - which I really could take or leave at this point. I'm in a different part of Atlanta. I'm faced with feelings and emotions that I can't drink over - I was never a blackout drunk, but a cocktail always helped deal with my feelings/emotions/issues/drama/etc.

Do I truly believe that I'm an alcoholic? I dunno. I went into rehab/still am keeping an open mind about all of this. I go to meetings and don't mind going. I've never left a meeting not feeling good. I have friends that definitely believe that I'm NOT an alcoholic - in part, I think, because it makes them look at their own life. My family, on the other hand, is convinced that I am. I can't deny the fact that the DUI's is a major problem. That's without question. And that has caused a problem in my life. And if something causes a problem in your life, then it's a problem. Period. That's the way I'm looking at it right now. A day at a time. Will I ever drink again? Who knows. Just not today.

Honesty

Ok folks. Here's the skinny. I'm going to be completely honest to this blog from this point on. This is something that I haven't been good at in the past, for whatever reason. I dunno why, but I've been "censoring" my own blog. What's the point?!? This is supposed to be MY blog. About me. That's it. Right? Well, from this point on, I'm going to put it out there. I don't really have any reason not to, right?

Ok. Here. We. Go.

I have been MIA for the past 5 - 6 months because I've joined the ranks of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohan. I've been to jail...

...and am now in rehab.

Yup, you read right, folks. After multiple DUI's over the past 3.5 years, my mom decided to give me a good dose of "tough love." I was in Atlanta City's finest for 5 months. After numerous trips back and forth to court, my lawyer finally got the DA to agree to letting me "off the hook" IF I went to rehab. So, that's where I stand now. I've been in my rehab program for about 2 months now. It's a 9 month program, so I've only just begun. I am, in a sense, starting my life all over. I, fortunately, still had my position at work, but I opted not to go back. You know, the whole, "old playgrounds and old surroundings" thing. Plus, I wasn't happy there. There was no where for me to go within the company. So, I am currently unemployed.

27.
DUI's.
Jail.
Rehab.
Unemployed.

Wow. I could really freak out right now. But. I. Can't. It's my life. I have to deal with it.

Que pasa?

Well, what can I say? I've been MIA. I've been on "hiatius." I've just been gone. Period. Does anyone even read this anymore? Who knows...

I've been through a lot within the past 6 months. Some good has come out of it, but I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

7 days until Christmas, and I just don't feel like it's the holiday season...

Plech.

More to come soon...I promise!