Just now...

I wrote my first mortgage check on Sunday...

BAM!

It hit me--I'm an *adult* now. I'm 25 and I'm just *now* feeling like an adult--LOL. It's a crazy crazy world we live in...hehe.

An All-Time Low...

On my way back from running at the park on Sunday, I decided to stop by the Kroger on my way home to do my weekly shopping. This isn't the normal one I go to, but it was on the way. To my surprise, a new Starbucks "station" has been added...inside Kroger!!! Can the gays not live without Starbucks to go grocery shopping?!?!? It's just ridiculous...

What next? OH, I know...a Starbucks in LA Fitness (cause none of the guys that go to that location actually workout--LOL) . What is that, you say?

Well, 1GAR, there is a Starbucks right outside that LA Fitness...

...and you think *that* matters?! HA! Just wait, just you wait...

I C

If I hear another freakin' radio commercial about I C*, I'm gonna go crazy!!! Why are the airwaves bombarded with it all of a sudden?!?!

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

*if you don't know what I C is, then you have apparently not been listening to the radio (lucky dog)*

Routine, or the lack thereof

Like I’ve said many times before, I’m a creature of habit. I’m not *rigid* about it, just merely routine really. For example, when I workout, I usually try to put my things in the same locker. This is for a couple of reasons. One, so that it is as “thoughtless” as possible and I don’t have to “think” about where my stuff is. Secondly, I just go to that locker without even thinking about it. Having said all this, I haven’t been as “routine” with my training. Sometimes I’ll go in the morning one day, at lunch the next, after work another, or a mixture of the following. Well, yesterday, I went after work. I normally put my stuff on the bottom set of lockers—this time it was the top. I normally put them on the right side of the U-shaped isle—this time it was on the left. So, it was just all backwards for me. I finish my workout and go to my locker to get my stuff and leave. I had just gotten back from the pool, so I was wet and in my shorts-style speedos. I went to my locker and twisted the knob with my combo…nothing. Sometimes you have to do my lock twice, so I just did it again. Nothing. I tried to open this lock 4 more times before I realized that this wasn’t my locker! I proceed to where my locker is…did the combo once…it opened. DOH!

Isn't it funny...

...how the show "Top 10 Most Beautiful Homes" is a SCAM!!! This show isn't true to it's name. If it were, then you woulda just seen the ONE show and that woulda been it. Just those 10. But no, this is a weekly show that shows 10 homes EVERY week. So, it should really be called "The Most Beautiful Home"...period.

...that the title of my blog is "One Guy's Anonymous Rants," but every one of my posts are posted with my name. Hrmmm...

...that I've had my reversible duvet cover for about 3 years now, but I've never "reversed" it. I finally got a wild hair up my butt and did it. A whole new bedroom ensemble just like that! Viola!

...that you can be all geared up to do something one day and then not want to do it when the time comes? I bought all this car washing stuff (bucket, special car washing mits, tire shine, car soap, brushed for the tires) on Friday with every intention to wash it this weekend. My condo has a "car center" with a pressure hose and vacuum--it's quite nice. Well...yeah...Saturday came and went...and Sunday was just so busy with regular chores and errands...the car didn't have a chance. Poor Hazel Orangello (the name is for another post--LOL)...

...that I go grocery shopping every Sunday, but never feel like cooking that night. I have a refridgerator, freezer, and pantry full of food, but I don't cook. And not to mention that I have more time to cook than I would during the week. Nope. The microwave does the cooking--LOL.

...how you can meet somone a time or two (or not at all), but chat with them all the time online, and feel like you "know" them? I don't know if you would call them a 'friend" in the traditional sense, but they are sorta. Technology...it's a crazy thing.

A Good Deed

As most of y'all already know, I had some trouble with my mail. Long story short--I was given the wrong mailbox keys when I finished with my closing. I didn't discover this little oversight until after about a month of living here. Anyway, I have just now gone through all of the junk mail when I came across your standard "movers envelope." Inside, it was mostly junk...except for the valuable Kroger coupons. On this folded over "lottery ticket" were 3 "$5.00 off of a $35 or more purchase" and a free carton of eggs. Woohoo! Jackpot! I go to Kroger every Sunday to do my weekly shopping, and I always drop about $50 no matter what I buy--odd, I know, but it always ends up this way... So, knowing my shopping habits, I knew that one of these coupons would expire before I could use it (expires Aug. 31, 2005)--BUMMER!

Anyway, I go to the store today to do my weekly shopping. I get to the checkout line and the ringer finished ringing all my stuff up--yup, right around $50! So, as I'm putting the 2 other coupons in my wallet, I decided to do a nice deed. I turn to the young lady behind me and ask, "Would you like this coupon? It'll just go to waste otherwise..." The look of utter surprise and genuine thankfulness was worth it right there. It was only $5 off, but the gesture means more than the actual face value. We chatted for a bit...me saying she looked like she had more than $35 there and her agreeing, the hot as Hates weather, and some more small talk before I left and she thanked me again.

Isn't it sad that a nice gesture is so lost in today's society? Well, I did my part:) Karma, right? It feels good to make a total stranger smile...

Keep it straight!***

Upon talking with some of my straight guy friends, I've come to a conclusion. There is only one thing (other than who you find attractive) that separates gay and straight men: mental processes vs vocal expression. Let me explain... I've come to realize that both groups *think* the same things on certain issues, straight men just never express it vocally. They are too afraid that they might be perceived as "gay".

Some examples:

• I honestly believe that men can distinguish a good-looking man from an ugly one. My thought process on this is simple: a guy can CERTAINLY pick a pretty girl from an ugly one, right? Heck yeah! AND...guys will be the first one to point out an "ugly dude." But alas, straight men will NEVER say, "yeah, that guy is cute." The closest that they will get to ever acknowledging another guys good looks is, "yeah, I can see how you would think he's cute"--and this is only said by the utmost secure guy. But the sad thing is this--if a guy were to ever say that another guy is good-looking, he would automatically be considered gay, no question. Why? Girls say that other girls are pretty ALL the time and they are never accused of being lesbians--but guys LOVE the lesbianic action! Double standard? I think so...
• You will never hear a straight guy say, "I'm getting fat." Instead, you will hear them joke about "how much hard work it takes to get "this" (puts hands on belly)" or "I don't have a six pack, I have the brewerybrewry", etc. The straight guys that I know are conscience of weight gain, they just never put it in terms that would be considered "gay" or "girlie".
• When getting ready to go out, both gay and straight men are conscious of their physical appearance. A gay man will ask whether a certain shirt makes him look fat or if the belt looks okay with his outfit. A straight guy may look at himself in a mirror for several minutes debating whether his outfit looks ridiculous or stylish, however under no circumstance will he ever solicit advice on fashion from any of his male friends.
• Straight guys DO get bloated--they just vocalize it in terms of gas. There is one exception to this rule, however. Straight men are much more vocal when it comes to human defecation. A group of gay men may be hanging out together one night and one of them may have the sudden urge to use the restroom. He will most likely sneak away from the group, do his business, and return shortly after. Straight men feel as though they need to announce that they've got a "turtlehead about to pop out" and that they have to go take a dump before they go in their pants. Additionally, a detailed description of the feces is often given by straight men and they are somehow proud of this fact.
• Under no circumstance will a straight guy admit if he likes a song that is sung by a boy band or a "girlie, pop singer" (ie Britney, Christina)--and definitely not Madonna or Cher!!! LOL. And if a straight does like the song, then he feels weird about it. Why??? It's just a song people! Just because you happen to find a song catchy and start singing along to it doesn't mean that you are going to spontaneously start liking guys! LOL.

There are more examples, I'm sure, but this is all I could come up with right now. Have one? Share.

...and don't even get me started on Metrosexuals! They just mess things up for everyone! LOL.

***this was in corroborative effort with Chris***

Unneeded...Unwanted...Uninvited

Talking with many of my friends and co-workers, I've found a common theme throughout--no matter if you are married, single, live close/far from mom and dad, etc:

Family stress

Case in point: My mom calls me today as I'm leaving from work in a panic.

"Call your sister! She's lost in Athens and I don't know what directions to give her! She won't stop to ask for directions! Call her cell--do you have it?"

No, she's my sister--I don't have her cell number! Hello?!?! So, I call my sister and she just chats it up. Panic was not in her voice... We chat for a bit and she tells me where she is, etc. I eventually get her on the right way home and we hang up moments later after catching up. Why does my mom feel the need to over-exaggerate things? This isn't the first time she's called me with a situation like this. One time, my sister was lost in Atlanta and I was chosen as the "phone a friend" option to get her back on her merry way. Am I their personal MapQuest?!?! Apparently so. This is just unneeded stress for me AND my mom AND my sister. All the way around, just unneeded! URGH!

And then, if it's not this, it's something else.

"When are you coming home to visit?"

Ummm...it goes both ways. Plus, I have my *own* life that I live from time to time, too.

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!

Rules???

This past weekend was unlike many weekends for 1GAR--(why did I just refer to myself in the 3rd person?!?!?!). Anyway, I have to preface this post with a couple of thoughts. When you break up with someone, it’s sort of an unwritten rule that the friends that they brought to the table goes with them and vice versa, right? Well, when J and I broke up, that’s what “naturally” happened. We had a core group of friends that was comprised from both his and my pre-dating life. We tried the whole “let’s hang out and be friends” thing, but it just didn’t work. So, I was already in Atlanta and started making some new friends and he was in Athens with his. As time went on, his said friends gradually started moving to Atlanta. I would see them out every now and then and we would do the whole “we should get together and catch up” thing. This never really came to fruition—mainly because of the said “unwritten rule” rule.

Well, with my move back to Atlanta and trying new things thing, I’d decided to let go of all that petty crap and just let things progress normally. Upon going out with some friends one evening, I ran into some of these said friends. We chatted and caught up, blah blah blah. They genuinely wanted to get together and hang out, so I went with it. While J and I had gone out, his friends and I came to be really good friends, so why not, right? For the month that I’ve been back, I’ve hung out with said friends on a weekly, sometimes more, basis.

***ok…to the point of this entry now***

This past weekend, we all went out to shoot some pool, “bar-hop”, and go dancing. One guy in particular, S, and I have spent more time together than the rest of us. So the night progresses…yeah…ummm…there was dancing…drinking…and yes…kissing! It didn’t stop there. He and I had ridden together, so there was more making out before he got out of my car.

My question is this: What are the “rules” on dating a friend of an ex?

For me, I was torn. It felt good and bad at the same time. Good cause…yeah…you know why. Bad cause I just felt wrong about the whole thing. Is this widely frowned upon? Does the length of dating to broken-up ratio count?

This is an interactive entry. Your 2 cents are welcomed!

Convos between L and Me

*coming back from sushi*

Me: I'm stuffed.
L: Me too. Hey, look at the huge cock!
*laughter errupts*
Me: You said "cock"! And we're in 6th grade again... hahahaha
L: I just couldn't pass it up...I tried, but I just couldn't...
*we were passing the Folks off of Cobb Pkwy that has a huge rooster out in the front*


*later on in the day...delirium has set in...*

L: Is your *work program name here* down?
Me: I dunno. I haven't worked on that all day. Wha choo talkin' about, Willis?
L: haha
Me: Wha tha madder wit choo?...Hrmmm...I just suddenly turned black--hehe
L: HAHAHAH--LMAO--HAHAHA
Me: HAHAHA

Can you tell we crack each other up?

Shenanigans

When I was still the “new guy” here at work, people thought I was shy, quiet, etc. HA! When people got to know me, they found out otherwise. See, I started working with my company about 2.5 years ago, but the first 1.5 years of that was spent on-site at my client’s office as a rep. for my company. When I moved back up to my company’s office, I was considered the “new guy,” even though I’d been with the company for 1.5 years at that point. All of this is to say that I had to get to know everyone like I had started a new job. Anyway, before I became friends with the now absent A and M, I would go eat sushi once a week at a favorite local sushi restaurant. When A and I became friends, she refused to eat sushi. In an attempt to get her to try it, I told her that she could always order one of their “normal” dishes. She reluctantly agreed to go and over time, she became to like sushi. Now that she’s left, L is my new sushi partner.

*I am going somewhere with this…*

When I would go to this sushi restaurant by myself, I usually had the same waitress. She speaks very broken up English, so I just smile and nod like I understand what she’s saying (like most men do when women talk, right—LOL, JK). Anyway, she would flirt with me…ewww! Not that the idea of a woman flirting with me is “ewww,” but it’s the fact that *she* was flirting with me. First off, the broken up English. Secondly, she has breath that kills plants when she breathes. Ewww…

So, when A started going with me, I noticed a huge difference in the way the waitress acted. She no longer tried to talk to me nearly as much as she used to, and if she did, it was when A was at the bathroom or not at the table. A and I thought this was funny, so we would play along with her. A would put her head on my shoulder or put her arm around my waist or the like to make it look like we were going out. The waitress even asked me if we did! (when A was at the bathroom!—I told her no…)

So, this has been an ongoing joke amongst us (L now, too). Little does the waitress know that she’s not my type…for more reasons than one…

L and I are meeting A today for lunch to make our waitress jealous one last time before A moves…

MPH

I made a very odd observation yesterday. Have you ever seen a speed limit sign say "52 MPH" or "67 MPH"??? No, they always round, right? 65 or 70 or 55, right? This is what I thought before I saw one that says "9 MPH" in my complex. 9 MPH??? Most complexes or shopping malls or the like will have low speed requirements like 10 MPH or 15 MPH, but 9 MPH??? Who has this job, anyway. Is there a "private property speed limit" guy who has to decide what speed limit he thinks would be appropriate in a given area? Was he just feeling spunky one day and thought that he would just make my complex a 9 MPH speed limit zone for $#!+'s and giggles? Maybe this was his way of just playing a practical joke to see if anyone would even notice the odd number on this sign. Maybe he and his "private property speed limit" co-workers sit around and just laugh about stuff like this... Whatever floats your boat, man.

Things that are irking me...

...that I've been in my condo for about a month now and I found out today that I have the wrong mailbox key. It was by accident, really. I just happened to notice that the little inside sticker on the door said L21, not I21. No mail for a month...bills need to be paid...yup...can we say late fees??? With the move and change of address, I just didn't know how long it would take...URGH!

...that I've been without a phone at work for 2 days now. Our tech is new, so he has no clue...

...that I think I need glasses. I work in front of a computer all day, and I'm finding that I'm squinting. I also strain to see the writing on the tv at night. Come on...I mean, my eyes can't get ANY smaller! Geez...

...that I'm getting addicted to coffee. I've always liked the taste, aroma, warm-goodness of coffee, but I'm drinking more and more. Today, I had 3 travel mugs full...not good...

...that I'm back to little sleep. I was getting a good 7-8 hours for about 1.5 weeks or so, but I'm back to maybe 5hrs/night.

...Gas prices...

Random $#!+

~I went out with a couple of friends this past Saturday night. We were all just standing around drinking at one of our favorite "drinking holes" just chatting it up. Throughout the night, I had noticed that a group of 3 guys kept looking at me and my group of friends. Whatever. So, on one of my trips to the bar, I saw a guy take my picture. After he took it, he came up to me and asked if he could take another one. He said he was with a local magazine (yeah right!...with a non-professional camera? NOT!) and wanted to take some more pictures of the night life. I kindly told him no, but he kept insisting. While arguing/talking with this guy, the group of 3 guys were standing behind me and "rescued" me. I talked with them for a bit and they bought me a drink. Long story short, I exchanged numbers with one of them and I went back to my group of friends. Well, on Tuesday night, I get a call from the guy. We talked for a bit and I commented on how it seemed like he was with one of the other guys with him that night. He reluctantly confirmed my suspicion and we chatted some more about it. I asked him how long they had been together, etc. He told me that it probably wasn't a good idea that he called me because his bf wouldn't like it. I asked him, "If I can be blunt...why, then, did you call me? No straight-forward answer, just that he wanted to make sure I had his number. WTF?!?!

~I've noticed that I'm much more of a loner than I ever thought I was. The older I get, the more this is confirmed. I've always had a lot of friends, but how many out of those friends would I ever call on if I needed to? I can only think of a couple. Is this bad? I was always used to having a close-knit "group" of friends growing up and throughout college. Is this just the natural progression as you get older? I dunno...

~The statement "Mind Over Matter" *is* sooo true. Before I moved, I woke up at a crazy early hour to drive without any traffic to go workout before work. I did this for about a year and never missed a day. The biggest deterrent was traffic. I knew that if I *did* miss a day, then I would be caught in rush hour traffic...and I wasn't going to do that. Well, since I've moved back intown, I can't seem to get my @$$ out of bed in the mornings! Without the major deterrent of traffic, I have no real reason to get up early cause I can always workout after work. I've lived in my place for a little less than a month, and I can count the number of early morning workouts on both hands...so sad. It really IS mind over matter.